Lessons in Meditation [Eira, Suwan]

"Alright, everyone take a position on your mat."

The instructor, a heavily pregnant ex kunoichi sat on her knees in front of the class, calling for the group to get into a similar position. The room was fairly poorly decorated. Wooden paneled floors, walls and ceilings. It was meant to look minimalist, traditional. Eira thought it looked shabby and inexpensive, however she'd managed to get a discount deal on the classes so she couldn't really complain.

She was dressed fairly lightly today as well, the only coverings on her chest being a tight wrapping top that had neither sleeves nor straps, simply a tube-top. You were meant to dress lightly for meditation, though Eira had still opted to wear a pair of loose fit brown harem pants, comfortable enough to meditate in. In compliance with the instructors orders she sat on her knees. Waiting for the rest of the class to form up. She bit her lip, staring ahead.

The initial meditation started with a bow. From her knees at the front of the class the instructor spoke "Bow."

As one, the class did. Bringing their heads to the floor in respect for the "dojo" that was the shabby wooden meditation room.

"Head up, back straight, close your eyes, breath." She commanded, in what was supposedly a calming voice.

Eira inhaled deeply on the command. Holding the breath. A second or two went by and the breath started to feel uncomfortable in her chest. Her calm face twitched slightly in annoyance, as the instructor held out an extra few moments before giving her next command to the class full of people who were literally holding their breath in anticipation of it. She spoke slowly, already having released her breath, but eventually spoke the words.

"Now... Release."

Eira let out a long, thoughtful sigh, letting her breath go. This was the truly relaxing part of the warm up drills, releasing the breath after having to hold it so much. The same routine was repeated twice more, large inhalations, followed by a silence, then a long sign when the group exhaled. It could not be seen, but Eira and the instructor both knew that every shinobi in the room was already focusing their chakra to aid in the meditation.

Eira noted the usual string of events in her mind. The warm up breaths, then a focus on each part of the body, then some silly visualization of a perfect world or something like that, then more breathing, then more visualization. She prepared herself for what she thought was the instructors next instruction: To focus on the toes. She got herself into a place of calmness and already began to focus on relaxing the muscles in her feet. Becoming more and more calm.

"Now class, get yourself into pairs."

Eira's eyes snapped open. This wasn't part of the usual drill. She blinked a few times hoping she had heard incorrectly.

"We're going to help eachother visualize serenity." She said, emphasizing serenity far too much.  "Now each of you find a partner, you will be going on this inner journey together."

Eira frowned subconsciously, but kept a blank expression on her face. Blank save for her lips which were pursed together in a tight line. She began to look around for partners her own age.

[551]

Breath, relax then breath. Looking around the room, most would see that the group mainly consisted on adults in there early 20's and some times a bit younger. But there was a few who were just a budding flower, such as Suwan. He calmed himself as the instructor began the bow, and as always everyone followed. Whilst everyone was bowed their heads towards their own mats, Suwan lowered his to his own mat that was still fresh and crisp, since he had only started going these meditation classes a few short weeks ago.

Suwan tried his hardest to learn this meditation, and while the instructor did greet him and welcome him in. He still looked to others from time to time making sure he wasn't doing things wrong. But as Suwan raised his head back up to look upon his pregnant instructor, he inhaled through his nose and smelt a terrible gas, which made Suwan almost break out into tears from the pure odor of it. He scowled as the man who knelled in front of him, before returning to a calm determiner. 'There is a time and place from passing gas jerk!' Suwan yelled in his head at the man in front.    

Inhaling deep with a sense of relief as the toxic air had passed, Suwan followed the commands of the instructor. The young boy held his breath for what seemed a life time, but with discipline controlled his breath. His nose wrinkled and began to annoy him as Suwan anticipated the command to breath.

"Now... Release."

With the command, Suwan relaxed and literally breath a sigh of relief, as he was not the best when it came to holding his breath. 'Right now we go into again.' And so he continued to do the same as the group, repeating the process of inhaling and exhaling. Like a dance synchronization, he and the others followed the instructors lead, just as Suwan had down for the past weeks he started. It was beginning to become the same, it was perhaps due to him just joining and the instructor wanting him to get into the pattern of the class. But what the pregnant instructor through Suwan for a loop.

"Now class, get yourself into pairs."

'PAIRS?!' Suwan's inner voice screamed in his head as his once closed eyes burst open. The shock of this new command nearly lead to Suwan biting his own tongue, as he sat on the mat for a moment, blink a few times before scrambling, his head on a swivel, searching for a person. His attention was caught as two young girls found each other exchanging glances and smiling, whilst the instructor continued to speak.

"We're going to help eachother visualize serenity." Saying with a little too much calmness in her voice. "Now each of you find a partner, you will be going on this inner journey together."

Suwan eyes raced around the room to find someone similar in age to him. He began to feel sweat produce from his skin and dripping onto his cloths. Consisting of simple tan tank top and loose white shorts that was slightly dropped below his kneecaps. He rubbed the back of his head nervously, still looking around the group for a partner.

Finally young Suwan's eyes found one, a young girl with beautiful black hair similar to his own feathery ebony hair. Now, despite being able to handle adults, Suwan was not comfortable around those of the opposite gender. With seemingly no one else like her, Suwan bulked up the courage and began to walk over to the girl, once close enough for her to hear him, he spoke quietly. "Umm hi, you wanna be together?" Before diverting his eyes away in order not to make eye contact with the girl. Suwan's left hand twitched a little as he felt ready to sweat bullets in front of this stranger. 'Now I hate this class...' He cursed as waited for this black haired girl to speak.

[664]

Eira's lips when from being pursed together, to her upper teeth biting gently on her lower lip. Seemingly unable to seek out a partner with her vision, mostly due to her looking around consisting of a hasty glance before moving on to look at the next person, she blushed a deed a light red over her cheeks. About to give up, she opened her mouth to ask the instructor for a partner but only managed to get the "Se-" of Sensei out, before being interrupted.

The boys words echoed in her mind, though they probably didn't echo in off of the shabby rooms tight walls. She stared at his face for a few moments, a little surprised someone was asking her to partner up, but everyone was asked to partner up, so it probably wasn't That weird. Unable to form a quick enough response vocally, she nodded to signify that it'd be fine.

Eira scooted herself and her mat over a small distance, making room for him to sit next to her. A qucik shuffle of the legs and she was back sitting in the seiza position with her hands on her lap. She stared at the boy she was partnered with, completely missing him cursing at the partnership plan. It seemed a lot of people were grumbling about it anyway.

"Ok Class! Everyone got partners?" The instructors words were unnaturally high pitched and calm. Like the sound of a knife being sharpened.

"Yes Sensei!" Eira quickly rushed, responding in unison with the rest of the class. She gave herself a pat on the back for not stuttering.

"Alright! Now get into position, and introduce yourselves."

His face, Eira thought to herself as the class became ready Is a stupid face. She finished the thought, thinking of other stupid faces.

"Yuki Eira" She huffed, a little shyly, staring at the floor.

Her body didn't change position, still crouched on her knees. However she returned to biting her lip, and her head became tilted down, covering her eyes in dark hair. Becoming a make shift shield against social embarrassment or unwanted eye contact with people, or for that matter, their stupid faces.

"Chin up, eyes back Miss Yuki" The instructor called almost instantly after Eira had introduced herself.

Eira scowled, but followed the instructions. Her hair still lay across her face, but didn't conceal her eyes as much now.

"And you are?"

[401]

As he looked down at the hard wood floor of the room, Suwan gulped as he waited for a moment, waiting for no response. Only by glancing at the girl did he catch the nod from her. Following the lead of the black haired girl, Suwan took his own mat, still unable to make basic eye contact and placed it down right to hers, giving enough space between the two so not to be awkward, but just enough closeness to let the instructor know that they were partners. Before sitting himself in the lotus position and placing both hands ontop of his own knees, whilst keeping his head down to his own mat.

Glancing between the mat and his new partner, Suwan sat nervously. Anxious for the day to be over already, even if it had just started.

The instructor spoke calmly and somewhat excited. "Ok Class! Everyone got partners?"

"Yes Sensei." Suwan quietly replied over the rest of the group, still glancing at the black haired girl, just as she stared at him.

"Alright! Now get into position, and introduce yourselves."

Suwan took a deep breath and rubbed his head with his right hand, still nervously twitch ever so slightly.

Then suddenly as she spoke her last name, Suwan's head snapped up to look at her with wide eyes. He knew other Yuki clan members existed, but were scarce, and yet some how this girl happen to be of the same clan as he. Suwan blinked for a moment, mouth slightly a gap. Oh all places to meet a fellow member of your clan, it had to be a meditation class.

"Y-Yuki Suwan." The young boy stuttered as he tried to look into the eyes of this girl. All his focus was on her, not the instructor, not the class, nothing mattered to him now but Eira.

[308]

His name caught her by surprise. With an eyebrow raise she suddenly became a little more nervous than annoyed. She'd met other clan members before, but she usually knew she was meeting them beforehand, and they were usually only meeting her because she was paying them for one service or another. Suddenly more self conscious of her body, Eira moved, to brush the hair out of her face and behind her ear. She continued to bite her lip, but now it was mostly out of self awareness.

Should she mention the clan? There wasn't much to talk about. She ended up giving a faint shy smile in response. That was good, it said that she knew, but that she didn't have anything to say about it. Though in smiling she had to look at him a little more, which made her smile become a little twitchy.

"Class, we now will close our eyes, and breath once more." The pregnant instructor spoke.

Eira followed the instructions instantly, as if it were a race to close her eyes. Breathing in deeply, and then holding the breath. She became a little too aware of how her clothes felt on her skin, and how her tongue felt in her mouth. It was uncomfortable.

"Now exhale, and imagine..." She paused, for what a person would assume to be dramatic effect. "Serenity"

Eira exhaled, gathering her nerves once more. Focusing her chakra, which may be what she meant by serenity. The woman was an ex kunoichi, but the class was mixed. She wondered if she could transfer to a practical meditations class.

"Now inhale, and focus: serenity."

There was an audible inhalation across the room as everyone followed the instruction, annoyed as they might be with the way today's lesson seemed to be going. Again there was an uncomfortably long pause as everyone was forced to hold their breath in for the sake of serenity. The wooden walls creaked slightly.

"Exhale, and then tell your partner, what is serenity to you" The instructors voice chirped through the darkness.

Eira made a face, though nobody was likely to see it with their eyes closed. This felt a little sillier than usual meditation, which helped her with stress and chakra control both. This however felt stupid. She exhaled, half opening an eye to look at her partner through a squinted eye, he still looked stupid.

"Serenity is... Ice." She grinned a little, trying not to giggle.

[408]

For the first few moments it was rather awkward between the two of them, yet Suwan's eyes continued to glance at Eira, it was somewhat comforting that the two had some connection that perhaps the others didn't. Suwan ran his hand through his hair before resting it back into its resting spot on his knee.

He then spotted while glancing back and forth between Eira and the mat that she smiled slightly, to which Suwan returned it with a little more friendliness. "Class, we now will close our eyes, and breath once more." The instructor spoke as Suwan followed suit, closing his eyes, only to pull down the side of his shorts that was starting to reveal more skin the he wanted. He, like Eira, was starting to feel out of place, as he began to chew on his on tongue.

"Now exhale, and imagine..." To which Suwan opened his right eye to see what the pause was for, before noticing it was just to be dramatic. "Serenity" Before he exhaled with the rest of the class.

"Now inhale, and focus: serenity."

Though this was hardly a time to focus on much else for Suwan since he was sitting next to the only other member of his clan. For his whole life, Suwan had only be to the city rarely, so there wasn't much time to go searching around for his other clans people. And yet, Suwan took a deep inhale and continued to follow with the instructor, but still the one focus that mainly caught his attention was the sound of her breath.

"Exhale, and then tell your partner, what is serenity to you" The instructor commanded.

Suwan peaked his eye open to look at the instructor and raise an eyebrow. 'Really? I signed up for meditation, not breath control.' He spoke in his conscious, before exhaling. He then glanced over to Eira, who also peaked one eye open looking at him. For the first time the two made eye contact and as she spoke of her serenity to him, Suwan couldn't help, but return a smirk as he then shared him.

"Serenity is... Frost." Before increasing the size of his smile more visibly.

[365]

Eira made an audible giggle. Her eyes opening balance shifting slightly. The instructor cleared her throat loudly, and through her open right eye Eira could see the instructor staring at her. She blushed lightly and cleared her own throat. Sitting back up, eyes closed, back straight, chin up. Even without her eyes open she could feel the instructor gazing at her through the blackness of her eyelids. The instructor made another throat clearing noise.

"Now inhale once more, and-" a long pause, the class drew a long breath. "Focus: Peace"

Eira could feel the chakra inside of her now, this must have been what you needed to do to achieve techniques like walking on water. Her energy was flowing almost evenly throughout her body, but with just a little nudge, it would redirect and concentrate in other areas. She could feel where it had built up, where she most used it. Through her hands, through her feet, large areas built up along the spine of her back. The built up areas ached the more she became aware of them.

"Exhale..." The instructor breathed, along with the class. Peace."

Eira followed suit obediently. Letting her breath release.

"You are at peace, feel the tension and energy being spread out evenly. Inhale: Peace" The instructors soothing voice spoke.

Eira could feel it, she let the built up energy release along her chakra pathways, letting built up stress wash away with it. The release was immediate, calming, peaceful. She could feel her eyelids no longer twitching, eager to open. Her chakra began to even out, her body returning to it's natural, default arrangements. She barely noticed how long the instructor focused this pause, the exhale came too quickly.

"Now, let the tension wash away with your energy, until it dissipates into nothing. Exhale: Peace."

She exhaled with the group. Losing what little tension she had left. Her body at peace now with the silly wooden room, and the instructor's voice. Her peace came as the built up stress around her spine and shoulder blades left her. It was hard to keep her back straight as her muscles relaxed. Her hearts flutter slowed, into a rhythmic beat she could hear through the veins of her ears in the silence of the room.

Tell your partner, what is peace."

Eira didn't need to think. Peace was everything not ninja. Her answer was immediate. Without hesitation.

"Fruit, peace is fruit." Her voice as soft as the instructors now, gentle, like the chime of a china bell.

[420]

Feeling rather amused now by Eira, Suwan now looked through one eye as the instructor glared at them both, but couldn't help himself from smiling when the girl sitting next to him giggled cutely. It was when he looked to Eira through his open eye that he noticed she had gone back to her meditation. 'Right, back to the task at hand, Suwan, now focus.' Suwan thought to himself. He then closed his eye shut and returned to the same position as before, and began to follow the instructor once more.

"Now inhale once more, and-" and just as before Suwan took a deep breath and held it in, along with the rest of the class, this time focusing in on his chakra system."Focus: Peace"

It was at this moment that Suwan felt one with his body, taking his internal chakra and feeling it build within. His mind was at peace as he allowed his chakra to fill inside growing and flowing, Suwan began to ponder inside his mind 'I feel so wonderful, everything is so in balance...' before readjusting bits of his chakra to areas like his arms and feet that begin to annoy him with aching. 'Perhaps this class isn't so bad after all.' Suwan thought to himself.

"Exhale..." There was another pause by the instructor. "Peace."

'This lady sure likes to be dramatic.' Suwan thought as he along with the rest of the class exhaled.

"You are at peace, feel the tension and energy being spread out evenly. Inhale: Peace" The instructor calmly commanded of the class.

Like the instructor spoke, Suwan felt his body strung tightly with tension. His chakra system in full bloom as it surged throughout his body like the blood that also pumped through him. It was delightfully addicting this feeling Suwan had, so much that in his peace that he began to smile. Enjoying his pleasure of calmness, Suwan almost felt like peaking a eye open to see what Eira was looking like at this moment, because surely she too would be feeling this great. But with better judgment, Suwan left his eyes closed. He was almost surprised when the instructor spoke again after such a long pause.

"Now, let the tension wash away with your energy, until it dissipates into nothing. Exhale: Peace." The instructor spoke once again.

Suwan, along with the others exhaled, releasing the tension inside. He felt so calm, and somewhat close to Eira now, the girl didn't seem to bother his thoughts, plaguing his mind with nervousness and anxiety from being next to a beautiful girl who he just discovered to be apart of Suwan's scattered clan. In fact all he could think was the pleasure of this meditation and what he would discuss with her after the class. The excitement built in his mind whilst day dreaming of what was to come after this. It was a mixture of calming and eagerness.

"Tell your partner, what is peace."

It was at this stage of the meditation that Suwan's mind stopped with the daydreaming, and began to wonder. What did always bring him peace? The first thing that comes to mind is kittens, the adorable little felines have always been so cute that Suwan would feel like there was nothing bad in the world. However he couldn't tell Eira that, she would think he was less of a man, and that’s the last thing he wanted to be remembered by his fellow clan member. I was very odd that she believed fruit was peace, but then again he liked kittens. However then he recalled one winter where it snowed, the first snow Suwan had every seen. Everything was blanketed in a shroud of white, it was so simple and so nice.

"Snow is peace. So elegant and beautiful." Suwan said as he smiled calmy.

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Eira didn't like that. Snow wasn't peace, snow was death, and ninjas, and killing, and running away. She liked snow, it was part of her nature, and she liked using snow, it made her a better ninja, but to her snow certainly wasn't peace. Her brow furrowed, a worry line creasing across her forehead. Peace indeed. Winter was beautiful, but if it were peaceful it was only because it killed everything. Peaceful because the trees were dead, peaceful because the birds were gone, peaceful because the animals hid. That was a terrible kind of peace in Eira's eyes, peace by snow would be peace by destruction and that was no true peace at all. She probably wouldn't say anything of that sort even if they weren't meditating though. Best keep thoughts like that to oneself.

"Now inhale, deep." The instructor inhaled with the class. Eira did too. "Focus... On your partners peace."

Eira tried to calm her worry line as she searched for peace in the snow. There was little to be found. She imagined the full stretch of winter; of far away lands where the snow never stopped and the plans never grew. There was nothing, no fighting, no life, no death, only peace. She supposed it was a sort of peace in the end. Her forehead flattened, accepting the idea, albeit begrudgingly.

"Now exhale: Peace"

Eira exhaled.

"We will finish our warm up. Class: Inhale balance."

Eira thought about balance. There weren't many things in the world that were balanced and she had encountered even fewer of them. society wasn't balanced, money wasn't balanced, even justice wasn't fair and balanced. There was hardly anything she knew that could fit that description save for the current state of her own body. Oh. that was what she was meant to be focusing on.

"Exhale. Tell you're partner, what is balance?"

Eira's prior thinking paid off. She had an immediate ninja like answer. What was one part spirit, and one part body? Existing in balance at all points in time. There was only one thing she knew that was absolutely balanced and couldn't exist without being in such a state. The pause went on for a little too long again, however it gave Eira plenty of time to pinpoint just what balance was to her.

"Chakra is balance." She spoke, confident in her words.

She was proud of that one. Maybe all she really needed in her life was chakra, maybe she could live off it instead of food like some person in a fairy tale. Though that was unlikely since you needed physical energy to make chakra and physical energy came from eating food. Her idea of a money free life living off chakra went out the window. It might have been a silly idea anyway.

"You're journey begins."

The instructor spoke ominously while still maintaining her serene voice.

"Inhale: Look inward into yourself. You are in a dark corridor. It offers no light."

Eira would have thought this was silly, but she was already deep into meditation. She could feel herself in this corridor of absolute darkness. Her heart began to beat faster, the lack of light in her minds corridor beginning to worry her. This was not a good place to be, she never liked this part of meditation. The part that was all dark corridors and problems.

"Exhale: We are here to address the issues we put aside. Let you're deepest fear wash over you, inhale."

Nothing changed in Eira's mind. The lonely darkness just continued. This might have been her biggest fear, or she might just be terrible at visualization. She could feel that the darkness was cold. This was the worst kind of darkness, lonely cold darkness. Visualizing fears was the worst part of the class. The pause lasted far too long for her this time.

"Now exhale, breathing out all your worries and fear. Let them wash out. Tell you're partner what it is you've let go of."

Was it the dark, the cold, or the loneliness? Eira didn't like any of them individually, except for maybe the cold sometimes. She went with darkness, loneliness would have been too embarrassing to say. She exhaled.

"The dark."

[702]

It was starting to click with Suwan, he started to focus his chakra. He slowly became one with his system, his breathing became more controlled, Suwan understood the reason why he took up this class to begin with. Everything was in the right place at the right time, Suwan calmly thought to himself as he awaited for the next inhale. 'Nothing could go wrong, this is perfect.'

"Now inhale, deep." Like before, Suwan, along with class inhaled deeply. He could even hear Eira breathing in air, it was some how relaxing for him. "Focus... On your partners peace."

Suwan began to ponder Eira's peace. It was immediate and clear, she picked fruit. But why fruit? He broke his meditation trace-like state to peak his eye out to see Eira, holding in her breath, but something was wrong. Her forehand was creased as if something was upsetting her inside. Before this stage of meditation she was perfectly fine, giggling cutely and all, but what would cause her disturbance? Tracking back in his mind, he recalled what he had just said about snow, Suwan putting two and two together deduced that her lack of calmness was due to him saying snow. 'Well great, looks like I messed up meeting someone new! Curse myself!' Suwan shouted in his own head. He then hanged his head slightly only to glance away from Eira for a moment to look at his own legs, before returning the look back to Eira.  Now she was calm once again, but as the instructor spoke, Suwan quickly shut his eye to continue his meditation.

"Now exhale: Peace"

And once again, Suwan exhaled the air inside of his lungs, relaxing the tension in his body.

"We will finish our warm up. Class: Inhale balance."

Inhaling was simple, but to find balance was harder for Suwan. What could possibly be a balance for him? Was it like the balance he found in himself? Or would it be more of a physical balance rather then a spiritual balance? It was a struggle in and of itself, would his answer be the wrong one or the right one? Most likely the instructor would now ask of them what our balance was.

"Exhale. Tell you're partner, what is balance?"

Like Suwan had read the instructor's mind, he began to ponder in his cranium for what might be his balance. After a long pause, Eira claimed her's was chakra. Yet nothing truthfully came to his mind, after a moment, Suwan calmly said out loud.

“Balance is life.”

Sounding extremely cheesy, Suwan couldn't help to punish himself for his quick thinking. 'Life? Really Suwan? She came up with chakra and all you say is life? Your never going to be able to speak to her after the class at this rate.'

"You're journey begins."

However to this Suwan raised a eyebrow, his journey? If this was where it starts then what was the warm up for? Suwan guessed that if these were only questions to break the ice, no pun intended, then the questions would most likely only get more personal from here.

"Inhale: Look inward into yourself. You are in a dark corridor. It offers no light."

And so as Suwan inhaled, he began to image himself just as the instructor said, that he was in a dark corridor. It was cold, but worst of all, he was alone. Being alone was something that Suwan hated more then anything. He was abandoned from the time he was born, Suwan may have made friends with the other orphaned children and his caretaker Aunt Mao, but he still imagined from time to time what it would have been like to be alone. The thought of it scared him.

"Exhale: We are here to address the issues we put aside. Let you're deepest fear wash over you, inhale."

Alone, alone in the dark, no one to help him. Suwan was lost and trapped within the corridor and blanket of darkness. He wanted out, his heart rate began to increase in tempo. Suwan was starting to let his own mind win over him, his forehead began to wrinkle with worry.

"Now exhale, breathing out all your worries and fear. Let them wash out. Tell you're partner what it is you've let go of."

Almost like magic, as the instructor spoke to the class of letting go, Suwan snapped back into reality. Releasing the fear of being alone trapped inside of him, Suwan exhaled out deeply, letting go of the fear of him being alone in the world, because now he wasn't. Suwan had Eira now, someone like him, and as embarrassing as it was gonna be, Suwan was gonna say it with redness on his cheeks.

“Loneliness.”

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